Reviews | Andrew Rannells: What I learned about Cameo during Covid

I told myself I was doing this because I was bored, because I was lacking in activity. It was really more than that. I was alone. I felt isolated. And the activity I chose to distract myself – drinking – made those feelings stronger and more present rather than making them go away.

I play pretend for a living. It’s my job. And even when I wasn’t asked to use a script, in a talk show or podcast, for example, I was developing my own. Yes, I am myself in these times, but only the best possible version of myself. Cameo seemed to be an extension of this skill. I would be me, but just the best me. This is what I was hired for. This is what people expected from this experience.

Who was I to be depressed? I was in good health. My family was in good health. I have a successful career. I didn’t have the magnitude of the problems other people had, so what right was I allowed to complain about or ask for help?

But I needed help. I, too, needed someone to tell me that everything was going to be fine. That I was fine. I rarely reached out for it. Now I was there, sitting at my desk, being asked to encourage strangers to keep going, to have hope, to believe that everything will be fine. But did I believe it myself? Could I say these things and make them look true? Was this better public version of myself enough to actually help these people? If I didn’t believe it myself, would they believe it?

I once heard actress and singer Christine Ebersole say in one of her cabaret acts: “What words can I give you to comfort me at this time?” I think that’s exactly how I felt while making these videos. It was selfish to allow those people who asked for help to distract me from my own woes, but that’s exactly what it did. And I started to think that maybe I should be brave enough to ask for my own help, to reach out to people close to me and allow myself to be vulnerable and honest about how I was feeling.

Realizing that there is a problem is a step in the right direction, but how do you change course? I didn’t have a clear answer for myself, so I decided to cast a wide net in the hopes of catching something useful. I resumed regular therapy. I found new productive activities, some meditation applications, some self-help books. I went back to a regular workout routine. I contacted loved ones more frequently and tried to be honest about where I was. None of this was an instant fix. Sharing my feelings didn’t mean they were going away. There is no guarantee of instant acceptance or release from anxiety or sadness. But I was feeling less isolated and lonely. All of these little changes in my mindset and my routine started to make a difference. I started to feel better.

On the days when I’m not that hot, I make a point of not running away from this feeling. I’m not trying to chase it away or distract myself; I recognize him. There is something liberating about saying, “Well, today sucks! Then continue your day.

Previous Jessica Vosk, Jelani Remy, Isabelle McCalla and more to take part in STAGE DOOR MIXER at Watermark Bar in New York
Next Collingwood Summer Music Festival announces June live broadcasts and July Family Days

No Comment

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published.